Villa Bravo in Dobra Voda has a massive 9.1 score, is across the road from its own private beach and has a large sunny balcony with each apartment. I booked this for £188 for 9 nights. What could possibly go wrong? Well the apartment is rather pokey, the furniture is a combination of broken and homemade, and the shower, although perfectly serviceable dangles from the wall. There is a sign over the tap in the kitchen which reads "WATER IS NOT FOR DRINKING (TECHNICAL WATER)". Anybody know what technical water is? I feel a little bit let down by my education. To its credit the toilet functions perfectly so I suppose all is not lost really. 
Our lovely sunny balcony with a great view compensates for some of the other shortcomings of the accommodation. As expected the resort is fin de saison with a number of holiday businesses closed down and the rest of them seemingly being built, but the weather is still bright and sunny throughout the day.
Can I tell you something of Montenegro, its history and context within Europe today? Its population is only 680,000 and it occupies an area that is two thirds that of Wales. 72% of the souls are Orthodox Christians, 19% Muslims and 1% Atheist. Clearly I have a lot of missionary work to do here. The average monthly wage is €500 and unemployment is 18%. Balkan history is very complex and state boundaries have changed continuously. Since WW2 alone Montenegro has gone through seven incarnations. When Tito's Yugoslavia of a Federation of six Republics began to crumble after his 1980 death, Slovenia and Croatia declared their independence in 1991. By 2003 Montenegro and Serbia formed a state union but this only lasted until 2006 when Montenegrins voted to go it alone. It went with the Deuchmark for its currency until that disappeared with the arrival of the Euro. Montenegro then became the only country outside the EU to use the Euro. Ironically if it was accepted into the EU it would not be allowed to use this currency as its economy does not meet the criteria. Over the centuries Montenegrins have been the David between Goliaths, attacked from the north variously by the Romans, Venicians, and Austrians and from the east by the Ottomans never mind the Balkan internecine affairs. Nevertheless they survived with geography on their side.
Milo Djukanovic was first elected Prime Minister in 1991 and apart from a few years of "retirement" has been PM or President ever since. This Putinesque individual is colourful to say the least. He was named Person of the Year (2015) by the Organised Crime and Corruption Reporting Project for his work in promoting crime, corruption and uncivil society. The OCCRP also called Djukanovic's Montenegro "one of the most dedicated kleptocracies and organised crime havens in the world". After writing that, don't be surprised if I don't make it home for a very long time.
Come with us on a trip north up the Adriatic coastline towards Budva, one of the biggest tourist pulls in the country. The resort is particularly popular with Ukrainian and Russian tourists. On the way we stop for a coffee at Sveti Stefan this translates as Steven's island. It is a postcard pretty fortified island which is now owned by the Aman Hotel group and is a private resort.
The beach on the other side of the causeway is sandier but costs €30 a day to use. This is also the land of the ancient olive tree, many of them have been around for more than a millennium. Here's an olive pensioner.
There are two Budvas, one is a very lively and shiny new resort with a large secure marina. The other is Stari Budva which translates as old Budva. These is a sort of mini Dubrovnik, walled medieval town with a maze of narrow alleyways paved with polished marble. Whereas Dubrovnik was shelled by the Serbs (and Montenegrins) in 1991 Stari Budva was flattened by an earthquake in 1979 and has subsequently been completely rebuilt and now houses more bars, shops and restaurants than residences.
The view above shows the square of the two churches. The one in the right foreground is the Orthodox church and the gable end with the round window is the Roman Catholic one, illustrating the once cosy relationship between the two religions in this area. What a shame that religion does more to divide the world than to unite it today.
Across the millionaire marina you can see a ziggurat of a modern housing development. I think that this really works visually with the craggy face of the houses echoing the mountains above and blending into its context. So much better than concrete rectangles. Now some more cheek by jowl housing in the Stari grad.
Given the number of its population Montenegro must have a very high proportion of hermit monks for there are masses of monasteries tucked away in the most inaccessible of locations. Here's a wee example.
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